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- "A Film Marred by Bad Cinematography": an Early Cloverfield Review
- A Few Insignificant Things You Can Do To Assuage Your Guilt On Earth Day
- A Guide to Pissing Off the Rest of the World- (and Losing Supremacy)
- A Letter Worth Publishing
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- A Tour of Guantanamo Bay Fitness Camp
- A word from our CEO
- ABC announces new show in honor of 'TV turnoff week'
- Accountability Is No Way To Win
- Africa Eternally Grateful to Angelina and Brad
- Airline Ban on Coke, Mentos After Bomb Fears
- Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility for Pat Robertson
- Al Qaeda Resents Tsunamis
- Al- Zarqawi Goes to Hell
- Alan Jones Admits He is Gay
- Aliens Rescue Michael Jackson
- Allah Cancels Virgins for Martyrs Program
- Alton Brown in Microwave Meal Scandal
- America Changes Choices
- America Wins FIFA World Cup !
- American forces in Iraq to star in reality TV show
- Ann Coulter Follows O'Reilly Playbook
- Another Brainsnap News Apology
- Area Man Wanders Out of Area, Is Mauled by Bear
- Army braces for goat combat
- Ashcroft's Secret Second Bush Inauguration Plans Leaked
- Australia - The Fifty First State?
- Australia Apologizes For Rupert Murdoch
- Australian Government Offers State Funeral for Crocodile Hunter
- Australian Navy Equipped With New Armoured Surfboards
- Australians fail to believe PM's Sex Scandal
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- "Boring and So Full of Holes My Grandfather's RV Could Go Through it Sideways"
- Barbara Bush Tells George to Clean Up Mess
- Barbara Ehrenreich sues Paris Hilton over 'The Simple Life'
- Barbie a Total Whore, Claims Ken
- Bee Had Bad Attitude, Says Victim
- Bill Gates Building Secret Underground Lair
- Bill Gates Interview
- Bill Gates' Psychiatrist Working Round the Clock to Save Humanity
- Bill O'Reilly: Fox News only satire...
- Bin Laden attacked by Freudians
- Bin Laden Blames One Armed Man for Twin Towers Attack
- Bin Laden Evades Capture In New Jersey Convenience Store
- Books Not Necessary Anymore
- Brad and Angelina Insure Baby against Ugliness
- Brain-Eating Zombies March on Pittsburgh
- Brainsnap Apologizes for Plagiarism Scandal
- Brainsnap Apologizes for Reporting Rumsfeld Resignation Seven Months Too Early
- Brainsnap Apology over Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo Review
- Brainsnap Bought by Major Media Syndicate
- Brainsnap Denies Take-Over Bid for Rupert Murdoch's Media Empire
- Brainsnap expansion plans on hold pending FCC-regulation ruling
- Brainsnap Leaks Karl Rove Memo
- Brainsnap Previews Microsoft Vista Beta 2 CTP 5308
- Brainsnap's Exclusive Interview With Jesus Christ
- Brainsnap's Interview with Judas Iscariot
- Brainsnap's Temporary Respite Causes Mass Panic
- British Queen Moving to Florida
- Britney Spears Attacked by Pet Pineapple
- Brokeback Mountain "A Little Bit Gay"
- Brotherhood of Nod, GOP to Merge
- Bush Announces 'Noble Cause'
- Bush Announces Response to Hurricane Katrina- Invade Brazil
- Bush Asks Congress for Fig Leaf
- Bush Awards Motherhood Medals of Freedom
- Bush backs new 'cowboys in Ancient History' school curriculum
- Bush Declares Iraq War 'Boring'
- Bush denies liking the French
- Bush Discovers Indian Ocean
- Bush hires phrenology expert to advise CIA
- Bush Hunts Down Terrorist Butterflies
- Bush Launches Emergency Investing Seminars for Hurricane Survivors
- Bush makes Ohio faux pas
- Bush makes surprise appearance in Baghdad
- Bush Opens Memorial Wave Pool for Tsunami Survivors
- Bush proposes fighting global warming with nuclear winter
- Bush Reluctantly Agrees to Formation of Clone Army
- Bush Unveils 'Trickle-Down' Bird Flu Vaccine Roll-Out
- Bush's Secret Letters of Love Revealed
- Bush's Victory in Afghanistan Great News for Junkies
- Bush: Reported Iran attack plans 'not even close'
- Buy 3,249 Delegates, Get 795 Free!
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- Canada not likely to invade the US, say officials
- CBS Announces 'Survivor: Baghdad'
- Celebrate John Howard's Legacy With Brainsnap
- Celebrities Compete to Inform America that Hurricane Katrina Happened
- Central Asian Nation Uses Singing Contest to Elect President
- CEO of McDonalds Diagnosed with Colorectal Cancer
- Cheney Confesses to Assassinating Kennedy
- Cheney Sets Good Example for Youth By Shooting Friend
- Cheney Swear-Jar Runneth Over
- China Purchases Siberia, Aims to Renovate
- Christian Fundamentalists Suspected of Terrorist Bombings
- Church of Scientology Denies Katie Holmes Looks Brainwashed
- CIA Investigates God
- CIA Reloaded: Govt assassins get miffed
- Cities Bid for Next Papal Funeral
- Colin Powell Misses Wackiness of White House
- Colin Powell Tired of Working for Honky
- Communist Williams Knocks Out Tyson in the Fourth Round
- Compassion is an Economic Liability
- Congress orders removal of feeding tube from social programs
- Conservative Shocked to Discover Empathy
- Conservatives win Australia: PM calls "a victory against commonsense"
- Corporations Spooked by Widespread Apathy
- Cows: Omnivores or closet carnivores?
- Critics Agree - Mike Moore is Fat
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- Declassified documents: CIA dabbled in psychedelic fast food
- Deep Blue Apprehended
- Democrats Apologize for Being Too Conciliatory
- Democrats Puzzled Over How to Fumble Foley Scandal
- Diebold Wins Election
- Disney Delays Opening of Baghdad Theme Park
- Dog Teaches Human to Sit
- Donald Trump still has artificial hair
- Donate to the Red Cross
- Dozens Injured After Bad Meat Thrown At Them
- Dressing Like a Vampire Rarely Effective, Study Reveals
- Drew Carey closes Conservative Comedians Association
- Drug Companies Add Convenience Fee To Water Bills
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- East Timor Demonstrates the Ingratitude of the Third World
- Editorial- No Link Between Brainsnap and Murdoch
- Editorial: Increasing Minimum Wage Makes Minimum Sense
- Elvis Revealed as Architect of Iraq Invasion
- English Finally Realize They Are Useless at Football (and all other sports)
- Enron Ex-Chief Evades Jail On Legal Loophole
- Estate Agents Expect Property Boom in New Orleans
- Evil Knievel in Hell, Regretable Clerical Error says St. Peter
- Evil Macaques in Senate Takeover Plot
- Ex-suicide bombers blast virgins for martyrs swindle
- Experts Successfully Install Windows on PC
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- Fame is Hard
- Famous Psychic Predicts Victory in War on Terror
- Film Review: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Filthy Stinking Hippies Protest War with New Zealand
- First American Settlers Arrive in Iraq
- Fleshy-Headed Mutants Sighted Near Albuquerque
- Flu Epidemic to Strike on May 19
- Football Death Squads Hunt Down 'Soccer' Enthusiasts
- Fox News calls election before votes counted. Again.
- Fox News Poll Reveals Polls Aren't Biased
- Free Rumsfeld!
- Free World Requests Vote on Leader of Free World
- Futurists Predict More Accurate Predictions in Future
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- "Get Divorced" Urges Federal Government
- General Petraeus' Greatest Battle: Illiteracy
- George W. Bush Excited by Camus
- Giant Catfish Suspected of Devouring CIA Agent
- Giant Catfish Terrorize American Shipping
- Goat Sacrificing on the Rise with America's Teens
- God a 'Clear and Present Danger', Says Bush
- God denies involvement
- God Denies Voting Republican
- God Endorses Intelligent Design
- God Saves World by Allowing England to Lose
- God seizes America by the throat, and squeezes!
- Gonzales Admits "No Recollection" Of Breakfast Pancakes
- Government's Star Wars Program Can't Compete With Movie
- Guantanamo Bay To Be Moved To Bermuda Triangle
- Guide to Bureaucracy- Part One
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- "I was Saddam's Gay Lover"
- If we wrote an editorial about O.J.
- Increasing Numbers of Zombies Entering Work Force
- Insecure, Depraved People Accuse Brainsnap of Falsifying Sources
- International Dispute Over Who Loves America Most
- Iowans Not Doing Their Jobs, Politically
- Iran Frees British Serviceman
- Iraqi Amputee Shakes Bush's Hand
- Iraqi dissidents plan festivities in honor of U.S. Independence Day
- Iraqi Linux User's Group Shelled by Allies
- Irwin Dies; Osama and Saddam Go On
- Is Bush Going to Jail ?
- Is David Hasselhoff the Messiah?
- Is it time to Reconsider Slavery?
- Is Poland the Next World Super Power?
- Is Santa arriving too early?
- Israel Tackles Bird-Flu, Misses Birds
- Israeli Government Seeks Bulldozer Operators With Experience
- Italian hostages not helping Italy's image
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- Jack Bauer Pushes for Eight Hour Work Day
- Jack Thompson a "Person of Interest" in VA Tech Shooting
- Japanese PM Accuses Whale of Lipsynching
- Jesus Apologizes for Faked Death Hoax
- Jesus Too Wimpy For Conservative America
- Jesus: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"
- John Mark Karr Confesses to Invasion of Iraq
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- Lack of Flying Cars Disappoints Bush
- Las Vegas Surgeons Perform First Zero-Gravity Breast Augmentation
- Lawmakers move to protect domestic torture industry
- Leak Threatens Fox News Fact-checking Supremacy
- Left Wing Writers Change World with Biting Satire
- Letterman Show Hit With Heterosexual Controversy
- Liberal Media Found!
- Life's Boring Without Michael Jackson (Or a Good War)
- Limbaugh "Just Acting" Instead of Taking Medication, Say Experts
- Link found between Saddam and Bin Laden
- Louisiana Shoppers Terribly Convenienced by Floods
- Low Turn Out at Lazy People's Rights Rally
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- MacGyver Implicated in Airline Terror Plot
- Man Sues Spouse Over Contraception Use
- Manchurian Candidate Pulls Ahead of Nader in Polls
- Mary-Kate Olsen's Adult Film Days May Be Over
- Matthew Perry is Latest US Weapon in Iraq
- McDonald's buys school
- McDonalds CEO's colon tries to save the world
- Mel Gibson Resigns from Nazi Party
- Mexicans Ruining Market for Cool Personal Robots, Say Experts
- Michael Jackson Buys New Zealand
- Michael Jackson Demands Refund for New Zealand
- Mickey Rooney Signs on to Star in Bumfights IV
- Microsoft tops Google
- Militant Muslim Cleric Upset By Fall in Bush's Approval Rating
- Millions of Americans Riot at News of Paris Hilton Cartoons
- Mis-statement of the Union
- Mitt Romney Taken POW by John McCain
- Model admits to tepid affair with Hugh Grant
- Mohammed Calls Rioters "Religious Whack Jobs'
- Most Republican Voters Unaware Rest of World Exists
- Motivational Speaker 'Just Not Up To It Anymore'
- Mugabe Speaks Out Against Rory Gilmore
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- "Not Catholic" Confesses Pope
- Never Before Published - Extracts from the Gospel of Judas
- New Aqua-Funpark to be Built on Barrier Reef
- New Hope for the Ugly- Surgery Discounts For Human Billboards
- New Pope to Introduce Goose Stepping in Mass
- New Zealand declares War on America
- New Zealand Disappears - No One Cares
- New Zealand Invades America
- New Zealand Man Goes On Spree With Stapler
- Nike share prices plummet
- Nine in ten Satanists considered "creepy"
- Nirvana Files for Bankruptcy
- No Relation to Homer, says Jessica Simpson
- North Korea Blast Disappointingly Inadequate, Say Experts
- North Korean Missiles Strike New Zealand
- NY on heightened state of alert
- NZ Sends Maori Dancers to Iraq to Train US Troops
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- "Plate Smashing" To Be New Olympic Sport
- Paper Cuts on the Rise in Lebanon
- Paper, Rock, Scissors Decides Australian Prime Minister
- Paris Hilton Excited to Have French City Named After Her
- Pat Robertson Struck Dumb by God
- Pat Robertson Uncovers Previously Unknown Bible Verses
- Pentagon Trials Black Hole Weaponry for Use in Iraq
- Person Eats Only Subway- Shocked to be Still Fat
- Pete Doherty Running Out of Time to Die, Say Experts
- Phone Throwing Just Part of Russell Crowe's Kiwi Heritage
- Pictures of Brad and Angelina's baby: a lesson learned too late
- Pineapple Mauls Trainer at Vegetable World
- Pineapples Found to Possess Intelligence
- Planets not in alignment for revolution
- Pluto Under Suicide Watch After Planetary Status Stripped Away
- Pope a Little Disappointed With Heaven
- President Admits Feeling Gnarly About Economy
- President Bush Announces Some Stuff
- President Bush Personally Achieves Victory in Iraq
- President Bush Pledges To Regain Lead In Carbon Emissions
- President Bush Sober Now for Weeks
- President Bush uses proper grammar
- Protestants taking over the world, says conspiracy theorist
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- Radical Shiite cleric Al-Sadr offered hip hop recording deal
- Re-Enactors Hail Revival of 1918 Killer Flu
- Rednecks happy, says new polls
- Reeve's heart stops, Kerry flip-flops
- Religious Sect Calls for an End to War
- Republicans - The Only Secure Choice
- Republicans Claim Affair Parity Following Edwards Admission
- Reruns of "Full House' Unleashed as Iraq War Enters Dirty Phase
- Retraction Unnecessary, says Brainsnap Editor
- Road-Widening Campaign for New, Fatter America
- Robot Republicans Take Over Washington
- Rockstar Games Delays Brokeback Videogame Release
- Ron Paul Gets Mainstream Media Attention Dressed as Bear
- Ronald Reagan on Final Tour
- Royal family short of self-promotion ideas
- Rumsfeld Attending Assertiveness Classes
- Rumsfeld Kicked Out of Amateur War Gamers Club
- Rumsfeld Quits
- Rumsfeld Resigns
- Rumsfeld Tells Iraqi Insurgents to F**k Off
- Russell Crowe Rehabilitated to Australian Status
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- 'Second America' based on faulty intelligence, say Republicans
- 'Seventh Heaven' Inspires Suicide
- Saddam Hussein Writes Children's Story
- Saddam Launches New Career as Martyr
- Saddam Offered Key Position with US Government
- Santa missing - Republicans blame Bill Clinton
- Satan Almost Vanquished
- Satan Sues Oprah for Breach of Contract
- Satirists Gloomy About Coming Election
- Sean Connery's Speech Impediment Finally Explained
- Selling The Truth
- Senators Insist Americans Must Start Speaking English
- Shock: Tom and Katie's Baby Born Ugly
- Sixty Years after Hiroshima Foreigners Still Haven't Learnt Respect
- Small white dog sworn in as Attorney-General
- Snake Lovers Society Sue Church for Slander
- Something About the Da Vinci Code
- Sri Lanka Shrugs Off Dead Animal Shortage
- Stingray May Have Been Al Qaida Trained
- Stoners Rattled by Zip-Lock Bag Shortage
- Study Reveals People Not Paying Enough Attention to Studies
- Sudanese Sticking to Low-Carb Diets
- Support Angelina and Brad in Their Time of Need
- Sven and Beckham Make Feelings Clear
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- "The Departed": When Government Meddles with Free Enterprise
- "The Passion Recut" draws fresh blood
- Taliban Send Wreath to Reagan Funeral
- Technology to assist ailing Pontiff
- Teenager Becomes Monk to Get Laid
- Ten Reasons That Prove Bush is a Great President
- Ten Reasons to Hate Christmas
- Terrorist Leader Signs Marketing Deal with Nike
- Terrorist Schools Increase Fees
- Terrorists Foiled in Dastardly Turkey Attack
- Texas Sells Electric Chairs to Iraq
- Thanks To The Supreme Court, I Can Finally Drop Out Of This Creepy Militia
- The Benefits of Doing What You are Told
- The Credible Hulk: Uninspired But Believable
- The Devil and Mrs Stewart:
- The Onion - Americas Finest Imitators
- The President: Oceania Has Never Been at War with Eurasia
- The Right to Profitable Speech
- The Steve and Steve Jobs Foundation Pledges Hundreds to Charity
- Time is Right for a Paris Hilton Snuff Tape, Say Experts
- To Democrats: Do Not Cut and Run with Scissors
- Toaster Announces Presidential Run
- Tom Cruise Admits He is Gay
- Tom Cruise Forgets Wedding Day- Blames Publicist
- Top American General Doesn't Like Gay Sex
- Tortoise Named Champion In Wake of Hare Doping Scandal
- Trojan recalls iron-on prophylactic
- TV Advertising Execs Hail N.H. Results
- Two Legs Good, Four Legs Bad?
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- "War is Hell', Bush Tells Troops
- Walter Reed Closure Blamed on 'Voluntary Injuries'
- War of Words
- Washington: "War now defined as "Economic Stimulus Package'"
- Waterboarding Not Torture, "If Waterwings Are Provided," says Mukasey
- We Apologize to New Zealanders
- What are We Waiting For? Let's Trash Iran
- When The Onion Brainsnaps
- White House Continues Policy of Presidential Plagiarism
- White House Dog Barney Resigns
- White House evacuated
- White House pet in sex scandal
- Why Film Critics Don't Understand 300
- Why is Rumsfeld collecting Zombie-Nazi comics?
- Why We Must Win
- Wishing everyone 'War on Earth' this holiday season
- Woman Detained on Charges of Emotional Terrorism
- World Cringes in Fear of Danish Response
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