China Purchases Siberia, Aims to Renovate

BEIJING, China - Cashed up and over populated China has purchased a large swathe of Siberia from Russia for an unspecified amount.

"With our population reaching almost one and a half billion, it is important that we look to new solutions," Chinese Interior Minister, Chou Woo Fou, said. "We are seriously looking at locations around the world that are basically empty of human populations to increase our nation's space."

The Siberian purchase has significantly increased China's land mass, making it now the second largest country on Earth, behind Russia, pushing Canada to third place. It also means that, for the first time, the USA shares a border with China, as the purchase includes the North Eastern Siberian tip that borders the American state of Alaska.

Indeed, Chinese expansion may extend further. Chou Woo Fou stated that China was interested in a large portion of Alaska as a potential purchase. "We are not ruling out an expansion into the North American continent," he said. "There are plenty of empty spaces in Alaska and Canada. The USA bought Alaska off Russia over a century ago. They may consider selling it now, for an excellent profit of course."


Other areas of the world which the Chinese have shown interest include the Australian outback and Patagonia in Argentina. "They each fit the criteria of empty space with potential for Chinese population," Chou Woo Fou explained.

The practice of purchasing land from other nations is not new, though it has been rare in recent decades. During the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries the United States particularly benefited from buying land, such as the Louisiana Purchase from France which opened up much of the Mississippi region to American population expansion.

However, some analysts are worried by China's sudden interest in real estate. "The American purchase signalled the emergence of a new power in the world during the nineteenth century," says Jane Zimmerman, a professor of International Relations at Harvard University. "China is already a world power now, but this expansion could serious upset the balance of world hegemony. If China continue to increase their national territory then the United States position as the number one world power will be seriously threatened over the next few years."

However, members of the Bush administration do not seem to hold the same reservations. A White House insider told Brainsnap that the federal government would consider very seriously any offer for Alaska. "It fits with this administration's recent policy of selling public assets for short term profit," he said. "What's Alaska got to offer apart from environment? We all know that's not a priority."

"With the War on Terror increasingly draining the budget, why not make a good financial windfall on a basically worthless piece of real estate? Private industry would do it, why shouldn't we?"