Islamic Heaven has firmly rejected Al- Zarqawi's application for entry.

"He did not rate highly," Chief admission's officer, Sharwon Sulu, told Brainsnap. "Indeed, I believe a rank atheist with a tendency toward alcoholism and cursing would have achieved better results on the entrance examinations."

Al-Zarqawi however was philosophical. "It's a bit of a bugger, but to be honest I kind of expected as much. So I'm disappointed, but not all that surprised. I think I got a little carried away with the murdering."

"These thoughts do go through the back of your mind, as you slice off some innocent person's head, that maybe, this is not a good thing to do. But you know, it was hard to stop once you get started."

Hell has announced that it has found room for Al-Zarqawi in its Absolute Psychotic Arsehole (APA) wing. "He should feel right at home there," Hell accommodation minion, Zunaas Sprig, said. "He's right next door to Pol Pot, Hitler's across the hall and Himmler's got the apartment above him. They'll make him welcome."

According to Sprig the APA is equipped with the latest in high tech torture technology. "We've come a long way from the pitch forks and worms," He said. "Abu Al- Zarqawi can look forward to a variety of bizarre and awkward forms of persecution. We recently installed a new anal probe device that was originally designed by aliens for Earthly research."

"However, we've added a few features to increase and maintain the discomfort level for residents. I can tell you those probes will be consistently reaching depths the alien designers could never imagine."

Nike, who recently endorsed Zarqawi with a reported multi million dollar sponsorship deal, announced that his death does not void the contract. "We've done business in hell before," a company spokesperson said, "So I don't see why his recent move should affect the deal."

Islamic Heaven has recently changed its admission's problems due to an influx of psychotic young suicide bombers.

"We feel that we are projecting a more 'family friendly' image that will allow us to appeal to a wider demographic," the Islamic Heaven Principal Communications Officer told Brainsnap. "We want our heaven to be the paradise of choice for the aspiring and the affluent, people who work hard and want to enjoy the good life in comfort and tranquillity."

"We've conducted a lot of market research recently, and there is clearly a negative connotation associated with terrorists and their ilk. The Virgins for Martyrs Program was cancelled earlier this year, and we have carefully reviewed our admission policy. Unfortunately for Al- Zarqawi he's not what we're looking for at present. He's bad for business."