Trisha Purshouse was a typical American soccer mum. She had it all, a comfy five bedroom home in Orange County, two precocious kids, a busy high salaried business executive husband, two Latino hired helpers for household chores, a lovely enormous RV to scare other motorists, and a healthy bank balance. Sure she was a little bored, and occasionally dreamed of eloping with Sanchez the gardener, but these thoughts were fleeting and apart from a couple of bedroom romps had little impact upon her life.

Then suddenly it all changed. Like cancer, an insidious sense of empathy gradually enveloped her and nothing has been the same since.

It got so bad that Trisha had to check herself into a clinic for the chronically empathetic- The Reagan Institute for the Promotion of Selfishness and Greed (TRIPOSAG). We spoke to Trisha in the tranquil gardens of this health facility.

Nikolai: So Trisha, how are you feeling now?

Trisha: Okay I guess. I have my bad days and good days. Just the other night I woke up and started worrying about poverty in South East Asia, but fortunately I was able to receive medication for it and the thoughts drifted away.

Nikolai: So when did this sense of empathy begin.

Trisha: It's hard to say. I think I picked it up of my son's elementary school teacher to be honest. She mentioned to me something about alternative media on the Internet. Up to then I thought Fox news was the only source of information there was. Anyway, I got bored one afternoon, and started searching through world newspapers. I know it's wrong, but my curiosity got the better of me, and before I knew I was reading stuff written by journalists not employed by Rupert Murdoch!

Nikolai: And what was that like?

Trisha: Terrifying. Yet slightly stimulating too. You know, I felt a little naughty, a little dirty. I should have stopped then. I was betraying my country, my family, and my flag.

Nikolai: Yes, you were. But did you stop?

Trisha: Not at first. There was something exciting about the illicitness of it all. I didn't tell my husband. I used to do it in the basement when he was at work. And gradually empathy possessed me. You always think that you'll be able to stop it, but it's more powerful than you think.

Nikolai: So what's this "empathy' like?

Trisha: Well, it's a kind of a feeling inside of you, inside your brain I guess. A disease really. It makes you feel things toward other people, even non Americans. I mean, I've always known that as Americans we are superior to the rest of the world. We've earned our wealth and comfortable lifestyles by having the right values and stuff. It's a given. Other nations are poor because they're lazy, stupid or just have the wrong values and / or religion.

Nikolai: Uh huh.

Trisha: But when you get empathy, it doesn't seem so certain. You start to think that maybe I was just lucky to be born into wealth and privilege and that other people are just the same as me only they've been born into different contexts, and their beliefs, suffering and triumphs have the same worth as my own.

Nikolai: What a preposterous notion!

Trisha: I know... I know... But this is what empathy does you see. And it leads into all kinds of different, awful directions. Suddenly, I started thinking that mothers in Iraq might fear for their children's safety just like I would if some foreign invader started indiscriminately bombing my country to overthrow the government.

Nikolai: Really? How extraordinary!

Trisha: Yes. And suddenly I thought about poverty, and how perhaps big business doesn't have all the answers for the third world, and instead of us thinking about how we can profit from poorer nations, maybe we should use some of our wealth to help them.

Nikolai: I find that hard to believe. Do you mean a person could actually feel that way? That would mean you'd have to give money away for nothing!

Trisha: Yes. It got so bad that I actually started thinking about signing up to volunteer in charities in poor neighborhoods in Los Angeles. Because I suddenly thought that it's not just because I'm American that I'm wealthy, but also because my parents and my husband have always had money and the contacts to get the right education and the right jobs. And that there are some people even in this nation who are not affluent. Who are actually downright poor.

Nikolai: So, did you do it?

Trisha: Well no, not quite. I didn't go that far. I realized I needed help when I suddenly found myself lecturing my friends at the local Republican party supporters meeting, which my husband and I go to. In fact, I was in the middle of telling people help America should consider the Kyoto Agreement and get serious about providing real foreign aid that actually help people, when my husband had me anesthetized and dragged me to this clinic, where they've been medicating me ever since.

Nikolai: They only did it because they care for you.

Trisha: I know. And I'm really thankful. It was shocking... the whole empathy experience. It was the worst three days of my life.

Nikolai: And what about the future? Do you think you are cured?

Trisha: I don't know. I've got the right medication, and I'm just going to take it one day at a time. But I've learnt from my mistakes. I'm only going to watch Fox news from now on.

Nikolai: Well I think that's a step in the right direction.

Trisha: Can I just say to those out there reading this interview that you must seek help as soon as you feel empathy coming on. If you don't who knows what it mean. You might start taking an interest in your neighbors and be subjected to long, boring dissertations on their hopes and dreams. You might start letting people into your lane on the freeway instead of cutting them off and giving them the finger. You might actually give your child's teacher a break, because you realize that your offspring are not God's gift to humanity and must be all that teacher's fault that they are not topping the class or indeed know how to read. You might even imagine you're partly to blame because you haven't got time to show an interest and use the television and playstation as babysitting tools. And you may even want to take some responsibility for your life and the future of your children and, heaven help us, other people and their children. So get help quickly, or all these things could happen to you!"

That's a truly scary vision. Imagine a world where an epidemic of empathy spread thoughout the population. It's far far worse than bird flu. That's why I have shares in The Reagan Institute for the Promotion of Selfishness and Greed or TRIPOSAG for short. Keep this in mind next time you look at your share portfolio. The place really works hard at ensuring the American dream survives.

Trisha: Well I'm proof of that.

Nikolai: Ha ha ha. You sure are Trisha, you sure are...