recent news
- Particle Physics Fails To Produce New Weapons
- Olympic Mascots Save Stadium From Giant Phoenix
- Republicans Claim Affair Parity Following Edwards Admission
- Guantanamo Bay To Be Moved To Bermuda Triangle
- Thanks To The Supreme Court, I Can Finally Drop Out Of This Creepy Militia
- The Credible Hulk: Uninspired But Believable
- Selling The Truth
- Obama's Patriotism Problem
- A Few Insignificant Things You Can Do To Assuage Your Guilt On Earth Day
- President Bush Pledges To Regain Lead In Carbon Emissions
Search
Al Qaeda Resents Tsunamis
Close insiders to Al Qaeda terrorist leader, Osama Bin Laden, have revealed his resentment toward mother nature and her ability to devastate such a large portion of the world through the recent tsunamis.
"He's not happy," said Albuh Mullullah, a prominent Al Qaeda figure, to Terrorist Monthly Magazine. "Indeed he hates her. He managed to kill thousands on September 11, and then mother nature comes along and takes out hundreds of thousands. How can he compete?"
Terrorists such as Bin Laden are currently involved in a battle for the hearts and minds of the Islamic world. Massive and destructive attacks have proven very lucrative for his organization. Yet, nothing he has done so far comes close to the scale of destruction left by the Indian Ocean tsunamis in December.
"It puts pressure on him," said Mullullah. "He's got to come up with something bigger and better, and I mean how can we top such destruction? Mother nature is the ultimate terrorist!"

According to Mullullah, Bin Laden actually toyed with the idea of claiming responsibility for the tsunamis, but eventually decided to use it as lesson for future terror activities.
"We're always learning," Mullallah said. "We've got new ideas. I mean, it can't be that hard to do. We're thinking suicide bombers dropped from a plane strapped to massive weights off the coast of New York. That should cause a wave of terror, so to speak. Of course we just have to work how to build a plane big enough to carry such weights."