Bush Reluctantly Agrees to Formation of Clone Army

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what appears to be an about face for the administration on genetic research, President Bush announced on Saturday that he had reluctantly authorized the use of cloning to make a 'sizeable army' for tomorrow's War on Terror.

"We must use any means necessary to protect ourselves," Bush told a press conference at the White House.

"We now have the technology to develop a limited but versatile range of clone soldiers in great numbers ... it is my belief that they could prevent the loss of American lives on the battlefield of the future."

Insiders point to recent actions of separatist states like Australia and the United Kingdom as indicators that the UN is weakening.

"Those two nations in particular have shown an avid distaste for cooperating with the United Nations since the late nineties," says one Pentagon staffer speaking on the condition of anonymity.


With the UN's role in keeping the peace in the world weakening, many within the Bush administration are looking to an alternative that sees the United States taking the chief role as world care-taker.

"The formation of the clone army is a positive but temporary step to keep our great Republic secure. As the UN fragments and splinters, we find ourselves in increasingly uncertain times," Karl Rove said in a statement released earlier today. "When the War on Terror has ended in victory, then the force could be dismantled and phased out, hopefully within a decade."

The announcement comes one week after administration officials raised the possibility of November's election being postponed indefinitely in the face of 'solid evidence' of a terrorists attack.

"Having the election is what the terrorists want us to do," said the President on Friday. "We can't afford to have a repeat of Spain, when the terrorists effectively determined the outcome with a bombing."