Still no lapel pin!In an effort to end doubts about his patriotism, Barack Obama denounced his former pastor and bowling team captain Jeremiah Wright, saying "I absolutely reject the worldview of Reverend Wright that holds the United States is not perfect. It's dangerous, and we can't afford to think like that."
He added, "Hope(TM)" and "Change(TM)!"
Obama has been on the defensive ever since the ABC Philadelphia debate which forced the Democratic candidates to confront issues of pressing concern with voters - asking, for example, whether Hillary Clinton would wear a flak jacket as president, given her propensity for attracting sniper fire. And if so, would it color-coordinate with her pantsuits?
Under sharp questioning from life-long American George Stephanopolous, Obama finally characterized Rev. Wright as less patriotic than Hillary Clinton but more patriotic than a kumquat.
The debate also exemplified Obama's commitment to politics as usual. He pledged, "I have mangled many statements before, and I will continue to mangle statements in the future."
On Wednesday, Clinton confided to Bill O'Reilly [no, really [1]!] that she thought Wright's remarks were not suitably patriotic and wished Wright had instead said complimentary things about white people and the government. O'Reilly took a second to concur before launching into a scheduled excoriation of the type of liberalism exemplified by Bill and Hillary Clinton.
Voters have also picked up on Obama's frequent lack of a flag lapel pin during campaign events.
"We may not always agree with President Bush," explained T.J. Matthis of Roseville, Indiana. "But at least we know we can trust him 'cause we see he wears the Stars and Stripes in his lapel.
"Now Obama - without any outward and superficial emblem of simplistic devotion to country - I don't know what to make of him."
[Editor's note: Brainsnap is a patriotic organization. Despite some criticism, we continue to stand by our belief that the act of reporting on events or statements that may be construed as anti-American does not necessarily make us ourselves anti-American as well. Especially if we keep such reports to a minimum.]