In a shock for Roman Catholics the recently deceased Pope Jean Paul II admitted to being "slightly disappointed' with heaven. "It's nice," he told Brainsnap in an exclusive interview only days after arriving, "But it's not really quite what I expected. After a life of service and celibacy, I kind of hoped for more."

The Pope who departed this earth early this week was officially welcomed into heaven on Tuesday with a large dinner hosted by God and attended by a who's who of heavenly beings, including the Holy Spirit, Jesus, biblical figures such as Noah, Moses and the disciples as well as Kurt Cobain.

"It was a good night," the Pope said, "But I gotta say I was surprised at how much drinking went on. King David, Peter and Paul had to be carried home at the end of the night."

Before the party, Jean Paul was shown his rooms in a trendy area of downtown heaven. "It's a great piece of real estate," Heaven's chief procurement officer, Dwayne Palmer told Brainsnap, "It's not quite in the golden paved street district, but that's only a short walk away."

However, the Pope was less positive about his eternal accommodation. "It's no bigger than my apartment at the Vatican and the view is less spectacular. It's nice, but it doesn't make you want to scream "hallelujah'. You know, after all the build up and the claims in the Bible I kind of expected more."

Upon being told of the Pope's comments, Jesus, the son of God and a member of the Holy Trinity, expressed disappointment. "I'm sorry he feels that way. But he's got to remember, there's a lot of people here. History has been going on for a while. I mean it's been 2000 years since I was down there on Earth. And everyone who gets here has these high expectations. People read a little too much into my comments. I mean, I said I'd go and prepare a place for them, but how far do they want me to go? Come on! I try my best."

However, the Pope also expressed other disappointments with Heaven. "I order pizza last night and it took over an hour to arrive, and they still charged me full price! That's not what you expect from eternal paradise is it?"

Editors Note: This article was first published at Brainsnap on the 8th of April. On the 13th of April, The Onion published a similarly titled article of the same idea. This is the second time one of Nikolai's article ideas has appeared at The Onion a little after publication. We do not, however, feel very flattered because we are only one of many comedy sites whom The Onion seems to have turned to for last-minute inspiration.