Is Santa arriving too early?

The premature appearance of Santa Clauses at shopping malls throughout North America is an indicator of ecological disruption, according to a number of prominent scientists.

"As the traditional herald of winter, Saint Nick relies on many subtle environmental signals to know when to migrate from the North Pole to more temperate climes," explains Sally Medlin from the National Institute of Ecological Studies.

Shoppers don't need ecologists though to know something is amiss when 'jolly old elves' arrive before the Halloween candy has been finished off.

"Last week I'm shopping for a turkey baster with my kids and we turn the corner to see this fat bearded guy in a red suit," shopper Wally Babcock told Brainsnap. "I wasn't ready for that at all. Now I've got to endure five weeks of my kids asking 'Is it Christmas yet?'"

A spokesman for the Association of Retail Ecologists says that's the least of the problems.


"This has wider implications. As what's called a 'keystone species,' Santa Claus is a signal to suburban consumer populations that it's time to initiate holiday spending. If they start buying too soon, it could disrupt the intricate food chain of toy manufacturers, merchandisers, ad agencies, distributors ... even film studios and Elvis impersonators might not be immune."

A few conspiracy theorists blame global climate change for altering local weather patterns in the Arctic and leading to the Santa emigration.

"Let's not jump to conclusions," says Perry Yu, the senior science advisor to the White House, dismissing the concerns. "There is much we do not know about Santa Claus. The White House takes this matter very seriously but we believe there needs to be more research before we can determine if human causes are to blame for Santa's erratic behavior."

Ecologist Medlin counters: "If unusual weather patterns are sustained, instinctual patterns such as migration often disappear - we could end up with Kris Kringles that live in shopping malls year round. I don't think anyone wants to see that."