The Editors at Brainsnap would like to formally apologize to Fox News for any hurt, emotional distress or injury sustained by last weeks article, What are We Waiting For? Let's Trash Iran. Comrade Byron has been under a lot of strain recently; we won't trouble our readers with his private emotional mishaps, but his ex-girlfriend is threatening to go back to him and so you could imagine how worried we are on his behalf.

Nonetheless, it is inexcusable that good Comrade Byron should shamelessly reproduce entire chunks of Fox News Editorials from their web site.

"Despite the obvious benefits - and undeniable fun - of obliterating faceless foreigners with intercontinental weaponry, our supposedly democratic government balks at the idea. Such an affront to common-sense and decency bears closer examination."

When I read this I was appalled: is that what passes for journalism these days? Plagiarism? I felt sickened, readers - sickened and sick of heart. And then I felt ashamed.

"Our government must act now, otherwise any number of freakish, delusional nations might start thinking they have the same rights as us. Soon they'll demand that we lose our right of veto in the United Nations Security Council, because 'it's undemocratic.' As if they know anything about democracy!"

The above was undoubtedly stolen word-for-word from the illustriously successful professional news caster, Bill "What Are You Wearing Now, Baby" O'Reilly. It is completely scandalous that Comrade Byron, working under the pressures of deadlines in Philadelphia, stooped so low to borrow stories from a more successful breed of reporter.

Readers, I believe we are better than this. Brainsnap has succumbed many times to shady journalistic practices, but each time we have been acquitted on technical grounds. In this case, there can be no error of judgement: Comrade Byron will be swiftly reprimanded. Brainsnap is a professional organization, we cross the Is and dot the Ts here and absolutely no stone is left unturned when it comes to casting them at ourselves. We are, above all, perfectionists and after having looked closely into the matter and investigated the incident very closely, and reviewing all of the facts of the case, it seems undoubtedly certain that Comrade Byron made some kind of mistake.

This moment of journalistic blundering is not the first in our long history (as a publication). We have gotten it wrong before. We wailed and gnashed our teeth when we published: Insecure, Depraved People Accuse Brainsnap of Falsifying Sources but we openly admitted that we had been at least factually remiss in one or two of our stories. (And fortunately no one remembers our botched review of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo.)

I leave it to you to decide if I have investigated the matter thoroughly enough, and that I have done all I can to be open and upfront about this scandal. I leave to reflect upon the ancient wisdom of Plutarch, who once said, "Jesus loves a trier" and to always remember as Pliny the Younger was overheard saying in an English tavern, "Which amongst us is perfect?"

Until the revolution, I remain,
Your trustworthy Comrade Che
(Senior Editor)